Day 161: August 2, 2011.

Well hello, my beautiful friends!  It has unfortunately been quite a number of days since I last touched this blog, but I’m here to say that I am BACK!  Those of you who know me well—or even those of you who don’t know me that well! —may have noticed that I fell off the positivity train these last few months and the attitudes I’ve always been so vocal about shifted significantly for quite some time.  Around late spring I kind of became more overwhelmed than I knew what to do with and from there the downward spiral careened.  It was one of those periods of time that came on so fast and unexpectedly I wasn’t in any way prepared for the emotional toll it would take on me.

Anyway, as you know, I stopped posting my daily “likes,” the positive statuses became fewer and fewer and I found myself in a place where it simply became easier to dwell on the negative things going on.  I wasn’t praying about my troubles as diligently as I should have been, I wasn’t sorting through priorities thoughtfully, and I got really frustrated really quickly because I knew that this wasn’t not a productive or healthy way to be living my days.  I didn’t feel like me and I didn’t like it one bit.  What I did know all along that comforted me was that as with all times like this I was confident that it was just an ugly phase that I would come out of sooner or later, but I wasn’t taking any steps toward reaching the light at the end of the tunnel myself because as much as I absolutely hated it, I was spending more of my time being suffocated by self-pity than just letting go of it all and saying, “God, I can’t do any of this on my own.”  I knew even at the onset of the very first pang of sadness that that was ultimately the answer to any and all trials I would face, but out of a nasty case of pride and the constant feeling of personal failure, I couldn’t get out that simple cry for help.  Because, no!  I’ve got everything under control!  I’ll figure it all out!

Ha.  Really?

Remember that feeling of being a kid and knowing you did something wrong but trying to keep it a secret from your parents?  As we get older we learn that we really aren’t getting away with as much as we think we are because our parents actually knew what we’d done all along; they probably even watched us do or say whatever it was we were ashamed of!  But when we’re young, our initial reaction to a wrongdoing is to keep it from Mom and Dad.  They can’t find out or I’ll get in trouble!  As time passes and we still think Mom and Dad have no clue what we’ve done or said—or haven’t done or haven’t said, for that matter—we realize we’ve gotten out home free!  They don’t know and I promise I’ll never do it again!

Right?

In my experiences…Wrong.

That feeling of victory was always fleeting and quickly gave way to the heavy feelings of embarrassment and guilt that would fill my heart and my mind, and those similar feelings of embarrassment and guilt had been slowly welling up in my mind and my heart over the last few months.  I know that the negativity I’d let grow into such a tangled web was the result of my own negligence for the values and truths I know to be truth, the standards I hold myself to from the time I wake up until the time I go to sleep that night. I didn’t turn from that knowledge per se since I’ve known full well through the whole ordeal what those standards are, but I merely became embarrassed by the lack of effort I was taking every day to live up to them.  I felt that I was falling short of my potential, so the longer the lack of confidence went on the more I shut down.  I didn’t want to talk about much, I didn’t want to go anywhere, I didn’t want to do anything…I don’t think I’d ever felt as incredibly low as I was feeling at that point.  (And I don’t think I’ve ever been as incredibly thankful for a lesson as I feel right now.)  Eventually it got to the ultimate breaking point (Mom and Dad can attest) and I knew this phase had to end now.  Food wasn’t comforting me anymore.  Dance wasn’t as therapeutic as it should be because I wasn’t in any kind of physical shape to really be able to get something out of it.  I missed a few days in this blog and those few days turned into a week, which turned into two, which turned into “I’m too far gone now, there’s no point in keeping it up now.”  I just felt extremely stuck in a feeling of letdown…The feeling of letting down the beautiful people I am blessed to know as family and friends as well as letting down myself. 

Melodramatic, right?  (Might as well have been scripted by a soap opera writer, is what it felt like!  Has anyone said “Cut” yet?!  Geez!)  Yeah, I know, but it was my reality for awhile so it is what it is.

I’m happy to say that sitting here in the Barnes and Noble in Union Square sipping my iced coffee (yes, I’m starting to really enjoy coffee now!), wearing a sundress, and makeup and feeling like a person again, the days of the funk are coming to a beautiful end.  This is not a, “woe is me” post fishing for pity, nor is it a self-righteous “I survived the storm, look at me now” kind of thing.  What it is, is just another account of an incredible demonstration of the love of God.  Stories such as mine are lived out every single day.  We all have problems.  No one is happy all the time.  No one can lead a perfect life because, I hate to tell you this but we’re simply imperfect people.  The great thing though is that we are not expected in any way to be as such.  We’re expected to fail, and from those failures can come the most valuable bits of knowledge if we so choose to allow ourselves to learn them.  In Romans chapter 3, we read, “…for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus” (3:23-24 NIV).  So, we know it’s going to happen.  But we know that we’re forgiven.  So the embarrassment of failure, and then the embarrassment brought upon by the embarrassment of failure—what caused me to stop dead in my tracks and freeze my life for what seemed like eternity—was totally unnecessary and completely created in my own head.  Yet though I’m still kicking myself a little for unnecessarily taking myself through such a rough patch, I’ve been so amazingly reminded that while I may have been carrying myself with very little honest faith, God never once lost faith in me and He was—and is—always here.  And as if that’s not enough, on top of that I’ve been so amazingly reminded that what has happened is of the past.  I am to learn from what my past holds but not be tied down by it.  From here I can move forward happily, confidently, and with motivation and excitement because I—we—are loved and cared about to the greatest degree. 

“Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times

of refreshing may come from the lord, and that he may send the Christ, who has been appointed for you.” (Acts 3:19-20 NIV)

Since the past is the past and what has been done has been done, the “Like List” is back :)  I’ll pick up from where I left off, going forward with my refreshed attitude and perspective.  My year will become longer than 365 days, but who says the calendar year is the timetable for this project?!  It’s time to finish what I started and remember what is actually important day in and day out :)

So today, on day 161, renewal and forgiveness are the greatest blessings I can possibly ask for :)

P.S. This is one of my favorite songs these days! Give it a listen if you are so inclined! :)

Day 160: April 3, 2011.

My wonderful friend Lila sent this video to me the other day but I've been watching it ALL weekend and it needs a post of its own on here because it's kept a smile on my face all weekend!! I laugh out loud just thinking about it!!

KAITLIN AT THE MALL. CLICK HERE RIGHT NOW!!

Today, Saturday Night Live, Amy Poehler, and friends with great senses of humor make me happy :)

Day 159: April 2, 2011.

I haven't been feeling well today so I've spent most of the afternoon on the couch.  I was planning on going out and running some errands and really enjoying this GORGEOUS day, but I've been feeling really awful since about 10 this morning.  But staying in has really been okay with me!  I planted myself on the couch, turned on some mindless TV, took a fabulous nap, and did a whole lot of nothing before heading back to the theater to finish up my house managing duties for the SADC showing.  

It may sound kind of silly, but I really like the window we have in our living room.

I really like how big it is and how it doesn't back up to a brick wall (last last year) and I can see a lot of sky.  It's really easy to feel claustrophobic here sometimes with so many people and such tall, concrete buildings, so being able to lay on my couch and enjoy the openness of sky is something I really appreciate.  

Today, finding relaxing space like this makes me happy :) 

Day 158: April 1, 2011.

HAPPY APRIL FOOL'S DAY!


I hope everyone's had a fun and funny day and hasn't had any terribly dramatic April Fool's jokes played on them ;)

Today after technique class we had our first audition.  What is SADC you ask?  Well as most of you know, because I so obnoxiously talk about it all the time these days (sorry!), NYU's dance program is only three years long.  When you get to your third year, the class is referred to as the Second Avenue Dance Company, or SADC and you no longer keep the schedule that the first and second years do.  Every day you have a "company" technique class at 1:30 (which only includes third year BFAs and second year MFAs) and then after class is over at 3 (3:15?  I'm actually not sure!) the rest of the afternoon depends on which pieces you're in.  Along with student works and the faculty choreographer for the year, four guest choreographers come in and set pieces on us.  Next year we have an AMAZING lineup of professional choreographers coming in to set work!  Along with Cherylyn, the faculty choreographer and the chair of the dance department, pieces will be set by Sean Curran, Kate Weare, Sidney Skybetter (NYU alum) and Aszure Barton.  It's safe to say that we're excited and ready to get started!! :)

Especially after our first audition this morning.  We had Sean Curran and I absolutely LOVED it!  He was awesome and full of such a fun energy, his movement flowed really nicely and felt really great to dance.  Even though it was just the first audition and we won't even find out which piece(s) we're in until after our last one in September, today made look forward to next year even more :)

It's going to be an incredible year filled with awesome experiences :)

Today, the future and its opportunities make me happy :)

Day 157: March 31, 2011.

What's a better way to end a long Thursday than going for frozen yogurt with a great friend?!  Right now I can't think of one!  As you all hear me complain all the time, Thursdays are ridiculously long days. It's just go, go, go, class after class after class...They're definitely not bad, they're just definitely very long.  So as time was dragging by in my American Musical class tonight (which is a joke of a class-so easy-but painfully long and boring), Caroline and I decided that after class we'd go over to St. Marks and grab a little froyo! It was a great decision.  We got to enjoy a little treat and some great conversation! What's better than that?! :)

Tonight, friends and frozen treats make me happy :)

Day 156: March 30, 2011.

I really like this song right now:

Max Richter-"On the Nature of Daylight."

As I said in my previous post, I'm so loving instrumental music these days!  Can't seem to get enough!

And when I listen to this one I just want to start dancing :)

Tonight, artistic inspiration makes me happy :)

Day 155: March 29, 2011.

My modern art midterm is overwith.

And I'm breathing again.

Today, that makes me happy :)

Day 154: March 28, 2011.

I got three and a half hours of sleep last night.  I can't remember the last time I got that little sleep!  All I can say is I wasn't the happiest of campers when I watched the clock change to 4 AM and I knew my alarm would be going off in three and a half hours to begin a morning of dance and a day of classes, and although I somehow maintained a fairly high energy level pretty much the entire day, it was a little rocky at times.  The worst was during the break I have on Mondays between dance history and comp class, though from 3:30 until 5.  That hour and a half break is too short to go home because I'd get home in time to turn right back around and head back out, but it's too long to be sitting and doing nothing.  I always bring homework but, as you know, my brain isn't digging the whole homework thing these days so that's always short-lived.

Today, I finally made use of my break productively and after getting a little studying done, I had the best nap I've experienced in a loooong time!  The couches on the second floor of the dance building are really old and really pretty gross, but theyr'e the most comfortable couches I've ever sat on.  So this afternoon I decided to listen to my body for a minute, close my textbooks, put in my ipod, curl up and take a little cat nap.

And boy, was it a great 25-minute sleep!

Today, even the smallest pockets of time to sleep make me happy :)

Day 153: March 27, 2011.

These days I'd so much rather be dancing than studying, and I'm having a hard time focusing on the schoolwork I really need to be focusing on these next few weeks.  So today, while I was kind of "studying" for my dance history test I have tomorrow I wound up doing some music seraching on Youtube (which ended up lasting more hours than it should have!).  I'm on an instumental music kick these days, so when my friend so wonderfully sent me the link to Antoine Darfour's acoutic cover of Imogen Heap's "Hide and Seek", that's what really fueled the fire and got me going!

I've come across the music of Andy McKee and other acoustic instrumentalists and have absolutely fallen in love with the artistry of their talent!  Before, I thought being an "acoustic guitarist" or a musician of the like meant to pick up an acoustic guitar and simply play a cover of a song.  I never realized just how incredible it really is as an art!  SO beautiful!!

Tonight, new music discoveries and honed, artistic finesse make me happy :)

Day 152: March 26, 2011.

Tonight I spent some time in a dance studio rehearsing two stunning dancers for a new duet I'm setting here at school.

I left the studio completely inspired.  And thankful.  And feeling incredibly blessed.

Tonight, being a dancer makes me really happy :)

Day 151: March 25, 2011.

The first week of the last quarter of my second year of school is over.
We are in the final stretch and it feels good.

Today, making it through another Friday makes me happy :)

Day 150: March 24, 2011.

Today was actually, dare I say it, a bad day.  From the very second my eyes woke up this morning I knew I was in for a totally off day, but I didn't know that I would actually stay cranky for the entire duration of the day.  But the hours went by, my mood didn't change, and I just couldn't find motivation to make myself turn it around.  But alas, everyone has days like this, and it's totally okay!  It is what it is, we get through them, we move on and it becomes a mere thing of the past!  My family and friends were awesome in helping me keep my head up today, just as they ALWAYS are!  I know that I can always count on them at all times, and today I was reminded of just how lucky I really and truly am!!  They were so positive and encouraging all day, I couldn't help but smile regardless of the negativity in my heart!! :)  I even had some great laughs in my painfully long Thursday night class!

Today, the power of real friendship makes me happy :)

Day 149: March 23, 2011.

I started a new piece today and I couldn't be more excited about it.  Some of my current favorite music comes from the soundtrack from The Social Network, so my tentative song choice is:

Hand Covers Bruise

It's so simple yet so haunting and really goes along with my emotional connection to the piece.  It's going to be a duet and only Rachael was able to make it today so we went into the studio for an hour and started building some choreography. We walked out after an hour with enough choreography to almost take us to the end of the 4:18 piece of music, so I can't WAIT to get in the studio with both Rachael and Ross on Saturday and really start building and playing with what we've come up with!  I am SO excited to develop the piece and see where it goes...I'm thinking it's going to be a good one! :)

Today, choreographic exploration makes me happy :)

Day 148: March 22, 2011.

I really enjoy rehearsing.  Especially these days...The pieces I'm in are so much fun to dance, and I'm loving being in the studio for as many hours as I am.  Tonight I had rehearsal for Diego's jazz piece for the fifth student showing at the end of April and it's just so much fun!  Fun music, fun choreography...I can't wait to keep going! :)

Tonight, some good jazz dancing makes me happy :)

Day 147: March 21, 2011.

The first day back after any break is always tiring, no matter how excited I am to get going again.

So today, simply having a successful Monday back makes me happy :)

Day 146: March 20, 2011.

My Facebook status currently reads as follows:

I love being able to call New York City my home :) I really do, and that has just been further affirmed by the wonderful spring break week in Virginia...It's becoming much less urgent to "go home" at every opportunity available because I'm already there! Being with family and friends is more necessary than the actual location. And let me tell you, finally feeling so sure about that is a great feeling :)


Today, the feeling of assurance makes me happy :)

Day 145: March 19, 2011.

From 8th-11th grades, I was a Junior Apprentice/Apprentice with the Loudoun Ballet Company.  During those years I was blessed to be able to dance roles in full-length performances of ballets like The Nutcracker and Swan Lake that not many kids that age are given the chance to dance.  They were years and experiences that I wouldn't trade for anything, which is why I do all that I can to be in the audience for both the ballet company and jazz company performances.  The hard work and commitment put in by each and every dancer is astounding and SO inspiring, and I really, really love to be there and be able to see the finished product of weeks and weeks of rehearsing.

Today I was able to see my sister perform along with the rest of the Junior Apprentices, Apprentices and special guest artists in the Loudoun Ballet Company's 2011 production of Swan Lake.  This is a four act ballet, close to three hours long, and with the exception of a few roles, almost all the kids are on stage the entire show, dancing multiple roles (some dancing three or four different roles!  Talk about costume changes!), and even if they're not performing in every act, they're understudying, meaning that their brains and bodies are being bombarded with choreography and they are to be ready at a moments' notice to jump right in and pick it up if someone gets sick, injured, etc.  Keep in mind that professional companies who put on a production like this rehearse every day, six days a week...It's a full-time job!  So taking that into account, knowing that these dedicated dancers of Loudoun County have put a show on in less than two months (rehearsals began in early-mid January) only rehearsing Friday nights, Saturday nights and some Sundays really is an INCREDIBLE feat!

I sat in the audience for the whole show, crying my way through all four acts.  (Just call me Cathy! Ha!) The girls were stunning, the ballet itself is just a beautiful and emotional story, the memories running through my mind of performing this wonderful ballet were making me nostalgic...It was an emotional afternoon and I loved every moment of it!

The biggest thing though was how proud I was to know the dancers up there.  The majority of the dancers this season are in the 9th-11th grade range I think, some younger and a few seniors.  Every time I go home and watch these groups perform I am humbled and, like I said, inspired.  It takes time, effort, teamwork, poise, grace, technique, and optimism, among many other things, to put on the shows that they do and to the caliber that is expected of them.  I know that I left the theater yesterday wanting to put on a tutu, get into ballet class, and start dancing right then and there.  I was totally reminded why I love the beauty of live performance and why dance is such a stunning, moving art form.

Today, getting to know such an amazing group of younger kids and being able to receive the artistic gifts that they're constantly offering make me happy :)

Day 144: March 18, 2011.

One of my favorite fancier dinner restaurants is this place:

And my favorite menu item is this appetizer:

(...which is Bang Bang Shrimp in case you've never had it!  If that's the case, I highly recommend that you try it at the soonest possible opportunity!  It's incredible!)

Tonight, as you can probably guess, we went there and ate that (among plenty other delicious plates!)

So. Delicious. 

Tonight, nice family (birthday!) dinners make me happy :)

Day 143: March 17, 2011.

HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY!!! :)


Today was a stunning day here in Northern Virginia!  The weather was perfect dress-wearing weather, I broke out my TOMS shoes for the first real time of the season, and I got to visit with a family that I love as if I were an immediate family member.  I always love being able to spend time with them and to catch up, so getting this extra visit in during my week in Virginia was a wonderful bonus! :)

One thing I love about going back home and hanging around NoVA during these school breaks is the freedom I have to sing.  Just sing!  Because we don't have neighbors or roommates to be mindful of, I take full advantage of the singing time! (Unless you count my sister whose room is between my room and the bathroom, meaning she really can't escape it!)  The two places that I miss having easy vocal freedom while I'm gone is A) the shower (laugh all you want, but you know you love to sing in the shower too ;)) and B) the car.  I've never been a fan of driving--now that I don't drive on an everyday basis I don't mind it when I have to, though I've always liked the convenience of it more than the actual act!--but on gorgeous spring and summer days like today when I can roll the windows down, turn the music up and enjoy some "me" time driving along the beautiful rural landscapes of northern Loudoun County on my way to visit one of my favorite families, I am a happy camper :)

Nothing really incredibly huge happened today, but the perfect combination of so many smaller things is what makes one very, very thankful girl!

Today, the familiarity of my favorite moments from the past and the simplicity of the joy caused by beautiful spring weather makes me happy :)

Day 142: March 16, 2011.

Nana and Pop-pop's house.


Need I say more? :)


It always makes me happy :)

Day 141: March 15, 2011.

Today I got to spend a wonderful couple of hours being "pampered" with Mom!  I've never really been one who regularly gets to the nail salon to get manicures and pedicures, but today we both went and I got the works!  (For all you beautiful ladies out there who want an afternoon off, treat yourself to some time at Beautiful Touch Day Spa here in Ashburn!  It's a nice little place and I definitely recommend it to all!)  It was such a relaxing afternoon and getting to enjoy it with Mom was the best part of it all!  We got to chat and have some good conversation, which is something I miss being able to have with my family while I'm gone at school!  So at the end of the session, I walked out with smooth skin, polished nails and a lot of gladness and thankfulness for the company I got to share the time with! :)

Today, Mommy/Daughter time makes me happy :)

Day 140: March 14, 2011.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DAD!!!!!!!


Today's been a wonderful day!  It's Dad's birthday and I decided to attempt to make him birthday cupcakes from scratch.  After a failed first attempt I think I got it right (or hopefully close at least...We haven't eaten them yet!), but thanks accidentally misreading an ingredient amount, the first batch came out totally wrong and I had to redo them!  (I'll just say that Paula Deen would have been very proud of the amount of butter that was used for that first batch!  Haha!  Oops!)  But we've now got some homemade yellow cupcakes with homemade vanilla buttercream frosting waiting on the counter for the family for after they get home from Swan Lake rehearsal!

Other things making me happy at the moment: season one of Gilmore Girls and my couch.  Feels great to have downtime like this :)

Tonight, taking the advice to try again if at first you don't succeed makes me happy :)

Day 139: March 13, 2011.

What a beautiful Virginia Sunday morning it was :)
I woke up this morning well before my alarm, as was expected (it was 7:15 and my alarm wasn't set to go off until 9!), but I minded less than usual today!
It's amazing how our senses pick things up without us being consciously aware of it.  I'm talking about sound and noise in particular.  In New York, I never really realize how loud the streets really are until someone comments on the noise level.  I never have a problem sleeping at night and for the most part I don't even really hear it when I'm outside and a part of all the action.  It's amazing, though, how quickly we take note of things like these when they're absent.  Laying in bed in the early hours of this morning, taking my time to slowly wake up, enjoying my oatmeal from the comfort of my bed, watching the sky change from a combination of pastel layers to a beautiful blue, the most wonderful thing to me was how quiet and still the house and the neighborhood was.  Not even the bark of a dog was to be heard!  It was one of the most calming environments I've found myself in in a very long time, and I've never appreciated the presence of silence quite like I did this morning!  The other beautiful thing about this morning was the fact that because I didn't have anything immediate to be done or get ready for (after all, I woke up almost two hours early!), I ended up falling back asleep before having to get up for church, getting a wonderful nap in before 9 AM!  Haha!

School breaks are really, really great :)

Today, peace and quiet and early mornings at home make me happy :)

Day 138: March 12, 2011.

Currently sitting on a Bolt Bus on the New Jersey Turnpike headed home for spring break.
Had a great photo shoot this morning with a great friend.
Now headed home to a week of my family, friends, my couch, movies, SLEEP, a big 'ol spa day at Nana and Pop-pop's, cooking, Swan Lake, sister time...You know, all the good stuff :)

Who needs tropical vacations when you can go home to family?!
Not this girl :)

Today, a completely calm mind and excitement for what the coming week will hold make me happy :)

Day 137: March 11, 2011.

SPRING BREAK!!!!! :)


Today, that feeling one has upon completion of the final academic class and week before a school break makes me really happy :)

Day 136: March 10, 2011.

Hello, Thursday!  There's nothing like an unexpected class cancellation to add to an already lighter day as far as typical class load goes! :)  Don't get me wrong, I love, love, LOVE being able to finally take voice lessons, and I hate that the reason that it's cancelled is because my instructor isn't feeling well, but I will be the first to admit that I'm loving that extra little break!

Lunch breaks are always really nice :)

Also, tonight is the first performance for showing four!  Let's GO!! :)

Today, being literally STEPS away from spring break makes me happy :)

Day 135: Marcy 9, 2011.

Sleep. Praise the Lord for sleep!!!

Today, fitting in a much-needed nap makes me happy :)

Day 134: March 8, 2011.

I really don't like having big assignments looming over my head.  I equally don't like having to sit down to do big assignments.  Because we started classes late this morning (due to seventh inning stretch, which I mentioned yesterday) I was able to wake up early and knock out the last part of my take home midterm for one of my academic classes.  It was probably one of the easiest assignments I could have been given, but I find that sometimes it's the easiest things that I have the most difficulty finishing!  But it was due at 5 PM today and I really didn't feel like going into this day feeling rushed and stressed to get it done and turned in!  So I'm glad to say that I can now go into the rest of the afternoon without having to think about it one bit!

Today, crossing things off the list makes me happy :)

Day 133: March 7, 2011.

Today begins the final week before spring break!  I can't believe at how quickly this semester has absolutely flown so far, but I also can't believe the amount of things that have to be accomplished this week before I head on home for the week Saturday afternoon!  

This week is also what's known as "7th Inning Stretch" here in the dance department.  Each semester we do two dance rotations, simply meaning we get two different sets of dance teachers, switching after seven weeks.  As a way to wind down as one rotation comes to a close (usually right before a break like this) and in order to give us a little bit of a break, we only have one dance class each morning.  This is VERY much appreciated, seeing as we then either have a longer break after ballet (which is still scheduled at 9) or we get to sleep in, not having to be at the studio until modern at 10:45.  Like today, we had ballet this morning from 9:05 to 9:35 and then no other dance classes, so I had a nice long break from 10:35 until dance history began at 2.  As I look ahead into the week at everything to be checked off the list and as I think about the level of physical and mental exhaustion I'm experiencing these days, seventh inning stretch couldn't come at a better time.  With one of our spring showings happening this Thursday and Friday night, tonight, tomorrow and Wednesday include a good deal of tech and dress rehearsals, so some extra time in the morning is really great to have!  

And it's the perfect way to head into spring break! :)

Today, heading into the home stretch before a much-needed school break makes me happy :)

Day 132: March 6, 2011.

Ahh, Sunday :)  I love Sundays.  More often than not I wake up on Sunday mornings feeling absolutely fantastic, no matter what is needing to be done before school starts on Monday.  Today's been one of those days!  Waking up early, having a great rehearsal, and now it's time to think about heading out for church!  All elements of a fabulous day :)

Today's weather is also making me happy, and surprisingly so!  The sun is nowhere to be seen and it's been raining off and on all day.  Usually I love days like this if I have no other tasks to accomplish other than wearing pajamas and watching movies snuggled up on the couch all day.  Especially on a rainy weekend!  But even though I've had places to go and can't remain totally inactive all day, I found myself really happy while walking home from rehearsal.  The air is fresh and spring-y.  The temperature is relatively "warm."  It's definitely not a winter's day in my opinion...Spring is here :)  I could feel it in the sun all day yesterday and I can feel it in this peaceful, calming rain that's come down today.

The seasons are definitely changing, my friends :)

Today, on this beautiful, grey Sunday, the gentle, relaxing spring rain makes me happy :)

Day 131: March 5, 2011.

So I feel like I've been talking a lot these days about two things: my family and how awesome they are, and dance and how much I love this gift I've been lucky enough to be blessed with.  In tonight's post I'm going to focus on the latter.

I've mentioned several times both in this list and in my (many) Facebook status updates and tweets how much I love Calen's Saturday night contemporary jazz class at Broadway Dance Center.  (To all my dance friends reading this I really recommend trying to get into one of his classes...You'll leave there having been both informed about the body anatomically as well as having been given the opportunity to really push yourself artistically through the physical movement and the emotional connection you have to it.  It's REALLY amazing!!)  Tonight's class was, yet again, another fantastic class.  It was harder than usual; I don't know if it's because I'm just exhausted or because the pace of the phrases was so unlike what I'm used to dancing these days or a combination of both, but I haven't danced that hard or sweated so much in a dance class in I don't even know how long!  But I do know it's been awhile.  And let me tell you, it felt good.  Really, really good.  I found that I was surprising myself with some of the things that came out while I was dancing at times--how when I thought I wasn't going to be able to execute something, it didn't matter because whether or not the step came out exactly as I'd liked it the emotional side of it was the driving force and I wasn't even thinking about the steps half of the time.

It. Was. Amazing.

That was a two hour dance class that I was definitely needing big time :)

Tonight, being pushed to the limits while doing what I absolutely love makes me happy :)

Day 130: March 4, 2011.

FRIDAY!!! :) Woohoooo!

Wow, this has been one of those never-ending weeks!  And I'm not going to lie, I'm not too sad to see it go!  Overall it was just fine, but I'm ready to just keep on moving forward and keep getting things done!

This beautiful Friday is made even better because it just happens to be library research day for dance history, meaning class is cancelled :)  Twice this semester, our dance history teacher gives us two classes off so that we can use the time to go to the library and get working on our term paper.  I can't say I've used it for that purpose (I'm going uptown to the performing arts library tomorrow morning!) but I can say that I couldn't appreciate the afternoon off more than I do right now!

Being done with school-related things today at 11:15?!  Can't complain about that!!! :)

Today, the beauty of this day makes me happy :)  It's just a great day :)

Day 129: March 3, 2011.

It's the Thursday of the 6th week of the semester's first dance rotation (our semesters are broken up into two seven-week dance rotations, simply meaning we switch teachers halfway through).  This means that fatigue has officially set in and it's becoming harder and harder to stay motivated to power through early morning dance classes.  Well, for me at least!  I won't speak for everyone in the dance department, but I will surely speak for myself when I say that I've got bruised bones, aching muscles, joints that don't want to cooperate...It's all part of the game!  But it's the part of the game that's never too much fun!  Luckily though, here at Tisch we've got some awesome dance teachers who see this and really acknowledge how tired our bodies are getting.  Sometimes, depending on the teacher, they'll take a day toward the end of the rotation to have a "talking day"...No dancing, just conversation.  Thankfully today was that day in modern class :)  We sat in a circle and had a great discussion about aspects of being a dancer...We talked about broader topics that got us thinking about where we're at ourselves at this point, we were able to learn things about our teacher and about each other, AND we were able to rest up a bit.  I was really glad today's conversation happened because things were brought up that had me thinking the whole time, making me aware of what my own thoughts are, where I am, where I want to be, and what needs to get done in order to get there.  So even though we were taking the class "off," we were still plenty productive!  Just in a different way! :)

Today, on this long Thursday, consideration by teachers and alternatively beneficial uses of time make me happy :)

Day 128: March 2, 2011.

Today started off absolutely wonderfully, all thanks to one simple thing: I finally had the chance to get a long, sound, good night's sleep last night!  Having been able to get 10 solid hours of sleep last night was exactly what my body had been desperately needing for a few weeks now, so being able to have had that last night is something I'm very thankful for!

I'm a huge fan of sleep.  I love a good nap, I love going to bed early during the week when possible (most nights the past few weeks I've had some late rehearsals so getting to bed early doesn't happen, but when possible, lights are out by 10:30!  And more often than not, I'm out like a rock only moments later!), but the older I get and busier life gets, it's becoming tougher to come by.  Moments of rest and long stretches of sleep are so necessary, but not always the easiest to factor into daily schedules.  Because of this, I'm learning--and learning fast!--to really appreciate good nights' rest as I can get it!

So today, feeling energized and ready for the day from the moment the alarm sounds in the morning makes me happy :)

Day 127: March 1, 2011.

I love journaling.  I love sitting down and actually writing.  Typing is okay, but as much as I enjoy keeping this blog and being electronically connected, I will always prefer pen and paper to technology.  (The same goes for calendars...I'd be totally lost without my day timer!  I don't think I've ever stored one thing in a calendar on a computer or phone!  I forget that I record things when I do it that way!)

I'd been really bad about keeping up with my journaling so far this school year, and it's something that I really miss when I don't do it regularly.  I really find it helpful to actually write out my thoughts, my prayers, my questions, the things that have made me happy throughout the day, really anything on my mind.  It's really great getting these thoughts that bounce around chaotically inside my mind all day out of there and onto paper, where I can either read them again or never have to look at them again!  That doesn't so much matter, for while I'm writing I'm very aware of what's on my mind, I'm thinking about what needs to be thought about, and then I can move on; usually writing either allows me to solidify a thought to the point where I'm at a better understanding of whatever it is and I can move on past it, or it opens up a new level of thinking about the subject at hand, allowing me the chance to further grasp it without stressing and dwelling on something that I just can't seem to put a finger on.

It's just another way I like to spend my "me" time :)

So tonight, before I turn in early for the night (YAY!), sitting down with my Moleskine journal, a pen and a full, productive day behind me (and tonight, "The Office" reruns on TBS!) makes me happy :)

Day 126: February 28, 2011.

Well, here we are again at the end of another month.  Today was tough.  I'll be quite honest and say off the bat that I've been tired--exhausted--and cranky since this morning.  I woke up on the wrong side of the bed and pretty much dwelled there all day.  I know, I know, but hey, we're all only human!  It happens!  But between not feeling well, not being able to keep my body or my mind awake, battling many a bruise and many an ache and itching for spring break (which is so close, yet so, so far..!) my emotions are a little wacky and I just wasn't with it!  Praying for a better day tomorrow!

But yes, I had a fair share of smiles today (and even a few laughs!).  My sister always makes me happy.  She's the best.  The big thing that made me happy was simply getting back our Dance History quizzes.  Our quizzes are really more like tests--nice, long tests with a lot, a lot of information to know!--and first semester I really couldn't pull off anything higher than a B, which isn't bad, but I was frustrated all semester because I knew I was so capable of doing better.  I was just too lazy to put in the effort to study any harder than I was.  Granted, first semester's material was a lot harder than what we're doing now, it felt really good to get mine back today with a "103" written at the top of the page.  I don't think my grades have known a number that high since the days of 5th grade spelling tests!  If that!  Haha!  It was definitely a nice boost of confidence that will hopefully get me at least a little bit motivated to keep chugging through this work and just get this semester out of the way!  After all, once it's over, so is my academic college career!  Get me DANCING!! :)

Tonight, academic accomplishments and the small joys that interrupt an otherwise crummy mood make me happy :)

Day 125: February 27, 2011.

This photo doesn't do the view justice, but looking out the window of the dance studio yesterday during :pushing progress' first One Day Workshop to see the sun setting over the Hudson was a sight to behold.

I've always been a sucker for beautiful sunsets, but this one had something extra in my mind.  The sun was crimson red, giving way to vibrant oranges, pinks and golds layered above it.  With the regular studio lights dimmed and rays of the natural sunset streaming in through the tall windows of the studio at the Baryshnikov Arts Center and Adele's Turning Tables (off her amazing new album 21...please go listen RIGHT NOW if you haven't yet!) coming through the speakers, it really felt good to be dancing in such a beautiful city :)

Tonight, dancing and being able to dance in this beautiful city of mine make me happy :)

Day 124: February 26, 2011.

Holy Hannah, it is a GORGEOUS day here in New York City!  The sun is shining, a spring breeze is blowing, and I had no choice but to smile as I walked down the street just now!  It's so nice to see spring so close!  It's coming, people!  We're almost there! :)

I just took a brief walk through Union Square after spending some time in the bookstore (I will never not love browsing bookstores...I'm sorry, but I'll never be sold on a Nook or a Kindle!  I need pages to turn!) and my whole day was made even better than it already has been!  I was going to go right home after my errand but after seeing the Union Square farmer's market out and bustling, I had to go check it out!  (For the first time this spring season!  Yay!)  I love going up there on the weekends and checking out what all the local farmers and bakers are selling...Today I decided to help the cause and get a few little treats :)  Beautiful, beautiful, BEAUTIFUL day :):)

I've also been put in a great mood thanks to my finalized decision (as of this morning) to get off of Facebook for a little while.  I won't be gone forever, but this has been something that's been on my heart for a few weeks now and I believe the time has come to let it go for awhile.  I really can't believe how addictive a website can be.  I mean, I can believe it, but I don't like it!  Haha!  And yes, I do understand that it really is great for networking and it's such a fast and easy way to stay in communication with people, but when it becomes something more than that, that's when the problem arises.  And yes, I believe I have a problem!  Ever since church last Sunday I've really been thinking about where my tie-ups are.  What are the things that are preventing me from being totally and completely free?  What are the things that have me bound into a rut of stagnancy?  There are two that I can think of off the bat, and that is the weird need to have the TV on all the time when I get home (that's the first thing I do these days...Drop my bags, take off my coat, turn on the TV), for no reason other than to have mindless activity going on in the background.  The other is my growing dependency on Facebook.  It's actually becoming quite annoying to me, because no matter how bored I am, no matter how much I'd rather be doing something else, I can't seem to get myself away from refreshing the home page over and over again (while watching pointless TV.  Haha!).  Every once in awhile it's fine, but when every spare moment is spent this way, that's just sad and ridiculous!  Also, I'm realizing that when I wake up in the morning and the first thing I turn on is my computer and the television, my motivation to get active and moving goes away so much faster than if I get up and start doing something right away.  Once I get sucked into the traps I have such a hard time getting myself out!  And I mean, come on.  I live in the middle of New York City.  I'm pretty positive I can find at least 82 other things to do with that time--per day!

For example, my new "To-Do" list includes...
-Reading so much more!  I used to be a huge reader!  Then I got lazy!  The time has come to get familiar with those things called books again!  My Bible, magazines, novels, short stories, poetry...A real book is better than Facebook any day!!  (**If anyone has any good reads they'd like to pass along, I'd be more than happy to hear! :))
-Listen to music.
-Work on choreography.
-Do my schoolwork.  (Haha!  I mean get it done before the day it's due ;))
-Take a fun dance class somewhere.
-Go to yoga.
-Do some writing.  I haven't been writing as much these days either (except for this blog) and I'm really missing it!
-Cook something new.
-Take a nap.  VERY important during the week!
-Go try to get more visits in with friends.
-Learn a new activity, like knitting!  I've been wanting to learn for awhile actually but haven't given myself the time.  Lila, if you're reading this, I'm coming at you for some lessons!!
-Color!
-Get back into regular letter-writing.
-Take walks.  Explore more of this beautiful city!

Okay, so it may not be 82 alternatives, but there are 13 other things I could be filling my free time with.  So as of tomorrow, I'm excited to say I'm going to take a vacation from Facebook and enjoy living real life for awhile!  I won't be gone forever, but it's time that I break these habits and this bondage that I feel is really holding me back from placing my focus where it needs to be right now!

Like I said, it's not totally permanent and I won't be completely gone!  This "Like" List is still totally in full swing and I'll still be Tweeting plenty (follow me on Twitter at michaelacathmc), plus letters, emails and phone calls/text messages are always great!  But I'm really excited about getting off and getting out...Life really is so great and I'm not going to live it solely through technology :)

So today, on this stunning Saturday in the city, a fresh start, a renewed energy that comes with a renewed knowledge and experience of real freedom, and optimism about and excitement for the gifts and blessings that accompany this life all make me happy :):)

Day 123: February 25, 2011.

Okay, so today was not exactly like yesterday.  That energy that resonated with me all day was not here at all, and from the very start of the day!  My eyelids felt really heavy all day, the rain made me want to curl up in pajamas and watch movies, and I couldn't get my muscles or my brain to find any sort of motivation at any point in the day!  It was DEFINITELY a Friday!  Haha!

I did, however, find plenty to smile about today (when I wasn't busy whining about being sleepy, which is so pointless and annoying, so I apologize to anyone who had to endure my complaints!), and credit for that goes to the ridiculously awesome Tisch dancers who I get to spend so much time with.  If it weren't for those friendships, some of these long days would feel pretty close to impossible to complete.  Even when I wake up exhausted, knowing that I'm still going to smile and I'm still going to laugh and find enjoyment in the day because of the people I get to be around is such a blessing :)

Also, I've had the whole early evening/night off tonight, which is SO needed and SO appreciated!  It feels GREAT.

So tonight, as the week winds down and a dance-filled weekend gets ready to begin, irreplaceable friendships and the joys shared between friends make me happy :)

Day 122: February 24, 2011.

Today was a gooood Thursday!  When I woke up this morning I was so unsure as to how I'd be feeling by the time I got home at the end of the day, but it was surprisingly easy to get through the day!  So much easier than most Thursdays!  Which is very interesting--and totally unexpected--seeing as instead of starting at 9 in the morning, the day started at 8 (meaning my alarm rang promptly at 6:25!  Sheesh!) and I finished not a moment before 9 at night.  It was a LOT of school to fit into one day, but let me tell you, I really fully enjoyed every minute of it!  It began dragging quite a bit during my night class, but I knew that was coming.  Pilates felt great, ballet was alright!, modern was a little slow but still just fine, voice was great!, I wasn't falling asleep like usual in Modern Art lecture and acting class was fun as always!  I don't know where the oddly high energy level came from--and why it lasted all day!  I wish I knew so I could get it back all the time!--but I'm very, VERY thankful for it!!

And tomorrow's Friday.  What's better than that?! :)

Tonight, after this long day of work and laughs, being able to enjoy what the hours of the day are filled with makes me happy :)

Day 121: February 23, 2011.

My iPod is newly fed and very happy!  As are my ears and my soul, for they are what get to hear and enjoy every single note of the wonderful new music I've gotten within the last day or so.

If you haven't gotten the new Adele album, I advise you to go get it--or at least listen to it--and take in every bit of her amazing music.  A.MAZ.ING.

Trent Dabbs' new album is out as well.  One of my favorites.  Great music.  Give it a listen too :)

Then there's this little pearl of a composition by Max Richter:
On the Nature of Daylight
It's not a new song, but it will never get old.

Really though...Where in the world would we be without music? :)

Tonight, the gift of musical expression makes me happy :)

Day 120: February 22, 2011.

I love waking up after a long weekend and having the Monday actually be a Tuesday!  I feel that it makes the week so much easier, no matter what has to get done or how long days may be!

Today, short weeks and zero stress make me happy (especially when they come together!!) :)

Day 119: February 21, 2011.

Presidents Day means day off from school :)  And thankfully so!  My body's been dragging a little these days...This day off is completely needed and so greatly appreciated!  Since I finished my paper yesterday morning I didn't have any immediate work to be done so I was able to fully enjoy this day off!  The snow this morning was definitely unexpected, but watching it fall from my window and not having to walk in it (except when I ran to the grocery store) made it seem so much more beautiful! :)

For any of you who have been following my Facebook (which is embarrassingly full of daily updates...I really need to start making an effort to break the addiction...I believe it's really become quite bad!  Haha!) or this blog you know I've been finding a lot of enjoyment in learning to cook these days.  I'm not saying I'm good by any means, but seeing as last semester I was the queen of oatmeal, cereal, salads and soups, it's been really nice to know that I'm able to put together real food half decently!  And I'm finding as I go that it's actually so much cheaper to be making my own meals than it would be to be on the meal plan or to be buying lots of frozen dinners (like I did plenty of last semester too!  Also, learning to grocery shop on a budget is a huge lesson that I've been needing t learn...It makes me much more aware of how I'm buying and how I'm preparing my food...Leftovers and freezable leftovers are my new best friends!).  Not to mention I'm feeling a lot healthier and don't have to compromise taste for health seeing as I know exactly what goes into the food I'm making!  For instance, I'm a HUGE granola and cereal junkie.  Like, put a box in front of me and chances of having enough left for even one real bowlful are pretty slim!  The only problem is it's actually very expensive to buy in the store and you just don't know with things like that what's actually going into it!  So I found a recipe, bought the ingredients and went to town this morning, making a big ol' batch of Cinnamon-Vanilla-Honey-Walnut Granola that actually turned out to be very delicious!  Throw in some dried fruit at the end and you've got yourself a winner!

(This is NOT my recipe...I got it at this website and then altered as I found fit! If any of you want to give it a try, check it out here -- file:///Users/Michaela/Desktop/Yummy,%20Healthy%20Granola%20Recipe%20-%20Food.com%20-%20311501.webarchive)

It feels really nice to be feeling more comfortable in the kitchen.  I've always wanted to feel able to make sufficient meals, especially since nutrition is such an important part of my lifestyle (as I think it should be with everyone!  It's AMAZING how much energy a person gets when they take care of their body right!  And yes, that does include the occasional sweet treat! :) That's the best part! Haha!)  The more I explore my culinary options the easier it gets, and this is coming from the girl who used to have to have my little sister cook me eggs because I was so afraid of the stove (and every other kitchen appliance other than the toaster and microwave!)  I love that...Like I said a few posts ago, I love being proven wrong.  I love being surprised with strength or abilities I may have that I'm not aware of simply due to the fact that I'm letting fear get the best of me!  I think we'll find that the less we stress about what could possibly be before even diving in, the more susceptible we'll become to new personal discoveries :)

Tonight, as I enjoy this wonderful Monday night off, stepping outside my comfort zone and just going for it (whatever "it" may be!) makes me happy :)

Day 118: February 20, 2011.

I woke up about half an hour before my alarm this morning.  I tried to fall back asleep but I just couldn't do it!  The more I wake up early on the weekends, though, the more I'm enjoying being a morning person.  I'm able to enjoy the peaceful hours of the morning and the entire day is still before me ready to be tackled! This morning, for instance, I was able to enjoy some chill-out time while I ate my breakfast before getting to work on my paper (which HAD to be done today...I was not about to spend my Monday off of school worrying about getting it done!)  The paper was finished by 9:30 and then the rest of the morning was mine!  I ran an errand, got to get some fresh air (cold air! Haha!), and go through the list of things to be done without any stressful urgency!  Today has been a wonderful change of pace!!  And in about a half hour I've got to be up the street to get ready for the Hillsong services this afternoon!  What a Sunday!!! :)

This has been one of the only recent days where I haven't felt like I'm running around having to get things done or be somewhere on time.  I can breathe and enjoy accomplishing the day's tasks with the knowledge that the necessary things to be done have already been finished!  What a cool feeling!!

Today on this beautiful Sunday, days without an ounce of stress make me happy :)

Day 117: February 19, 2011.

Today was nothing short of a fabulous day :)

I headed uptown to Penn Station bright and early to catch the 8:51 LIRR train to Huntington where I was picked up by my wonderful Nana's long-time friend from high school!  I'd never gotten to meet Carol before so I was so excited to spend time with this friend of the family and someone who means so much to my Nana (who means so much to me!).  I had SUCH a blast!  Carol reminded me so much of Nana, so talking with her all morning and afternoon was like a wonderful taste of home!  She's such a fun, bubbly spirit...I could tell right away why she and Nana have been friends for so long!

It's also safe to say that I've fallen in love with Long Island :)  Carol and I drove around Huntington and a few neighboring towns and everything I was was absolutely fantastic!  Everything was so small and quaint, the little old homes were beautiful, and of course my favorite part was being able to see the water from almost everywhere!!  We went to a little "Mom and Pop" restaurant for lunch...One of those breakfast/brunch places that really serves everything you can think of.  The inside was decorated like the inside of someone's home and the food was delicious!  I just really can't type here how much I appreciated the day out of the city and the company and location in which I was able to spend it!!! :)

Then tonight I made it back just in time to take Calen's class at Broadway Dance Center.  I couldn't be more thankful to have made it back in time.  (Because of the high winds our train was constantly stopped on the track having to wait for electrical problems to be delayed!)  It was one of the best parts of my entire week.  So thankful for dance :):)

So tonight, adventures outside of the regular routine make me happy :)

Day 116: February 18, 2011.

I'm going to bullet point it tonight...

-It was 63 degrees today.
-The sun was stunning.
-The restaurants and cafes had their outside seating open along the sidewalks.
-The chiropractor appointment this morning was exactly, exactly what I needed.
-We've reached the 3 day weekend!!
-The woman who rang me up at the grocery store today was making small talk to the man in line in front of me while she finished up with his groceries and she had the biggest smile on her face.  She was talking about how today was supposed to be her day off but they needed her there this afternoon so she had to run from another job before to the grocery store to take on the extra shift.  It was the enthusiasm and thankfulness in her tone for simply living on this beautiful day that made me smile as I put my own groceries up on the conveyor belt.  She reminded me to always give thanks for the moment at hand...To not say that I "have to do..."the task at hand, but that I "get to do..." what's been given to me.  Blessings are everywhere :)

Today, being alive in the city I love makes me happy :)

Day 115: February 17, 2011.

It's marathon day Thursday!  So as I sit here taking a quick breather before heading back out to class and rehearsal, mustering up one last burst of energy to top off the day, I was excited to come home to find an envelope sitting next to my computer with my name on it!  And who was it from?!  None other than the one and only Katie Rossbach!  This girl is one of the coolest cousins ever--she laughs at all my jokes..I mean how much better does it get?! Haha!--and I always love getting to hang with her when I'm home on breaks!  The envelope was closed with a sweet wax seal and contained a home-made card (Katie's always awesome about making home-made gifts!  You should see the Christmas presents she's made over the years!) and a mix CD!  I have yet to listen to the music but I always love, love, loooove new music so I can't wait to get it into my iTunes and jam out!  I think hand-written letter is still one of the best ways of communication.  It may not be the fastest, but I feel that it's the most heartfelt; it means a lot that Katie would take the time out of her busy life to think of me and send a little message and gift along!  She rocks!!  (As does every other member of my family!  For all of you reading this...YOU ALL ROCK!)  Katie, I'll write you back asap!  Thank you for being totally awesome! :)

So on this Thursday evening, the little unexpected "just because" things make me happy :)

Day 114: February 16, 2011.

I love being proven wrong :)

That sounds weird, I know.  But I know that I tend to jump to conclusions and make assumptions about things that have yet to happen only by going off of my immediate emotional or physical state.  I woke up this morning very sleepy.  Not quite cranky, but very sleepy and sluggish...As I was getting ready for class I just couldn't get myself motivated to want to dance.  Wednesdays are our late days--we don't start until 10 A.M. and only have a 45 minute bodywork class following by a ballet class.  Usually on Wednesdays I wake up pumped and ready to make that one class the best I possibly can, but this morning I couldn't find that will (which was a little frustrating).  Between sleepiness and a few extra pains here and there (which are always part of the package as a dancer) I decided in my mind before even stepping out the front door that it was only going to be a so-so morning and I wasn't going to enjoy this day as much as I would maybe like to.  Class was going to inch along and my body wasn't going to be able to do anything.  (What a way to start a day, right?!  HA!  Yikes!!!)  

But, like I said, in situations like this I love being proven wrong!  Class this morning was surprisingly good, really fun, and my entire mood completely shifted!  I was thinking about that about halfway through ballet--how two short hours earlier I was thinking in nothing but complaints!  And why?!  I didn't know what was to come!  The sun was shining, our awesome accompanist played my favorite of the pieces he plays frequently during classes (he plays a piano cover of Radiohead's "The Tourist"...It's my favorite version and always make me so happy to hear, especially when the combination we're doing is hard!  It makes me want to dance right through the pain!), Jolinda said some funny things (as she always does), and the second I forgot about how uncomfortable my back is feeling today and I focused on how good it felt to just be moving, I realized that my body is physically capable of more than I give it credit for!  I barely felt a pinch all class!  To top it all off, the weather turned beautiful again and I didn't even have to wear my jacket walking back to my dorm after class! :)  

In no way has today fulfilled the expectations I'd initially had for it :)

Today, being proven wrong makes me happy :)

Day 113: February 15, 2011.

Today was another struggle of a day.  I had a late night rehearsal uptown last night (which was really a lot of fun, just really late!) so I didn't get home until about quarter to 12...By the time I got to bed it was almost 1 A.M. and I had to wake up at 6:30 to get ready for a full day beginning with Pilates at 8!  I was okay energy-wise through Pilates and ballet, but when modern started at 10:45 that's when I started to drag.  And then I was dragging all afternoon through my Modern Art class (I can't tell you how many times I nodded off during lecture!) until acting.  Thankfully acting woke me up enough to finish out the home stretch of the afternoon!

Being done with class on Tuesdays (and Wednesdays) at 5 P.M. is something I'm very thankful for, especially when I can come home, sit down, and know that I don't have to get back up and head out the door for any more classes or rehearsals.  Nights like tonight are the best when I know I don't have any work that has be done immediately for class tomorrow, too.  I know I've been saying it a lot these days, but personal downtime is as necessary as checking things off a to-do list!  Sometimes, like today, there's really no choice but to do nothing but sit.  My body physically will not go too far very quickly, and coming up with coherent sentences isn't an easy task when the words get lost somewhere between the brain and my voice (or, in this case, the computer keyboard)!  Homework is out of the question for sure, so not having any to deal with tonight is a wonderful fact :)  The thing is, we live in a world where everything and everyone seems to be moving and going at all times!  Here and there, coming and going...And we find ourselves frequently in the frenzy of it all!

It's really okay to call a time out from time to time, sit back, close your eyes, and breathe into the stillness of a calm mind and body :)

Tonight, time for rejuvenation makes me happy :)

Day 112: February 14, 2011.

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!! :)


I hope everyone feels the love today! :)

So I've decided I'm not going to write about anything related to Valentine's Day today.  It's not that I don't like the holiday--on the contrary, I actually really think it's a fun one!--but I just have something else that made me even happier than the insane amount of chocolate I devoured today!  Haha!

As a dance major here at school, they have us taking composition class (or choreography class); it's a full-year course as a freshman and a spring semester course in the second year.  First semester we had improvisation in place of comp and I'll be honest with you...I was not too excited about the idea of switching back to comp at the start of the new semester.  "Choreography" has always been something I enjoy, but something about the classes I've taken have caused me to stress out over accomplishing tasks more than actually discovering my own choreographic process that works best for me.  I'm finding, though, as these weeks go by and we've been given the chance do just that--to explore the way we naturally approach the development of movement--the concept of "choreography" doesn't intimidate me as much.  I'm realizing that each task we're given is simply a task...There's no right or wrong, it just "is." What "is" is able to change, movement can be thrown out as new movement develops...a set "5, 6, 7, 8" isn't necessary.  I'm realizing that the development of choreography isn't concrete.  How can it be, right?!  I mean how can something be concrete before there's really anything to work with?  That was always my biggest problem...Fearing what had yet to be developed due to premature judgements of what hasn't even come about yet, resulting in my holding back and tiptoeing around movement qualities and ideas that I may think to be uncomfortable or not "pretty."  I've been able to choreograph up until now, but the pressure I've always felt to get it "right" is starting to fall away.  And for that I'm very grateful and excited about delving even deeper into my artist's mind!  (What would I do without comp class?!)

Today, real artistic exploration and development make me happy :)

Day 111: February 13, 2011.

I know it's early yet, but this morning has already started off wonderfully!  I woke up again on the early side in order to get my morning under way as soon as possible...With rehearsal, church and rehearsal going on later this afternoon and into tonight, lots of things--like studying for tomorrow's Dance History test--have to get done before I head out!  Thankfully the bulk of the studying has already been accomplished so now it's just rereading and reviewing!  So with that under my belt, a nice morning chat with Mom and, again, some leisurely Food Network viewing (I'm telling you, it's the best!), I'm feeling good about heading into this day!

Also, I like to start my day off with one of two things for breakfast.  I either like a nice mug of oatmeal (yes, a mug!  For some reason I prefer eating it out of that than a bowl!) or a bowl of cereal.  This morning was definitely a milk and cereal morning...Vanilla Almond Special K with banana slices?  Can't go wrong!  It's funny because I never used to like milk in my cereal growing up (Dad always got a kick out of that!).  I'm glad to say I've grown out of that!  In all seriousness though, as simple as it may sound, sometimes a good bowl of cereal in the morning really hits the spot!  Why not set up the day on a good note?! :)

As today begins rolling along, beginning a long day with one of the best food pairings ever put together makes me happy :)

Day 110: February 12, 2011.

This was one solid Saturday :)  The day as a whole made me happy, but before getting to the big "like"/story of the day I'm going to list a few of the things that kept the smile on my face!

 I woke up at 7:50 this morning, well before my alarm.  I was done sleeping and couldn't get myself to go back to sleep!  I really enjoy early weekend mornings when I have nowhere to be immediately!
 The Food Network was on for the majority of the day in our apartment.  I'm loving this channel these days...It's great "background noise" for when I'm getting work done (I can't do work in complete silence!) and when I need a few minutes for a breather I can look up to learn something pertaining to the culinary arts, which I'm trying to become better educated in!
 Eggplant was cooking in the crock pot all afternoon, so when I walked in from rehearsal the whole apartment smelled like delicious pasta sauce!  It was really wonderful!
 Took another fabulous Saturday night contemporary class at Broadway Dance Center tonight!  The only thing I don't like about that class is having to wait until 7:30 at night to take it!  It's such a nice breather from schoolwork and break from the usual classes I take during the normal school week!

What I really loved today though, was seeing this:

I actually pass by this Chevy's on 42nd and 7th every weekend when I go to Broadway Dance Center.  Why is this so exciting?  It's not, really.  But the memory it evokes is one that I love remembering.  I came to New York City for the first time in 6th grade during spring break.  I was excited beyond words and remember being able to talk about nothing else for weeks leading up to the trip.  I saw my first Broadway show that trip (42nd Street), we went to Central Park and rode the Merry-Go-Round, I ate my first street vendor pretzel (still my favorites!)...At one point we also ate at this Chevy's right off of Times Square.  I don't remember when it the trip it was, but I do remember that it was one afternoon, we were getting sleepy and hungry, and it was time to eat!  We sat on the upper level next to a window behind one of those neon letters...It was so awesome to me to be eating in a restaurant in Times Square, little did I know that this is simply a tex-mex chain restaurant that we have at home!  (We're not usually Chevy's people, but it was perfect at the time!)  It wasn't until one of my mom's more recent trips to visit me here at school did I find out that this was actually where we ate that one day eight years ago!

Passing by this restaurant every week and stopping for a split second tonight to think about the excitement I experienced during that trip made me think about how in life one never really knows what's going to happen!  As a wide-eyed 6th grade vacationer I had absolutely zero idea that I would someday end up living in this place.  That that "Tex-Mex restaurant in New York"--that one Chevy's that stuck in my memory for all these years--would be something I would see on a regular basis.

It may sound silly, I think it's very cool how that happens; how one seemingly small piece of everyday life conjures up recollections of years' past, connecting the dots between the then and the now :)

Tonight, re-experiencing youthful joy and remembering the importance of the little things and the memories they hold make me happy :)

Day 109: February 11, 2011.

A smile has been on my face today for one reason:

It. Is. Friday :)


This was one of those weeks where each day blended right into the next; coming home at night it's hard to remember if something happened this morning or yesterday because it seems so long ago!  I actually really like schedules that are this packed.  I like downtime when it's available (in moderation) but if I'm going to be busy I want to be BUSY!  The more I'm going, going, going the less time I have to really realize how tired I may be...It's the second I sit down that the motivation drops and I almost immediately slow down!  So I'm very thankful for the pace that this week--well, this semester--has kept so far, but the second Dance History ends on Friday afternoon, that breath of relief that comes with the knowledge that another school week has been completed is one that I very much appreciate!  Heck, I love that feeling of going to bed Thursday night knowing that Friday is right on the other side of that sleep...For some reason, just like with snow days, Friday will forever be a day with a positive vibe from the get-go.  That will never dwindle with age!  No matter what's going on or how many things have to be done, it always seems okay, simply due to the day of the week it is.  Okay, I'm sorry for the seemingly pointless ramble about my Friday joy, but that's all I've got for you today--that's all I've needed for this to be a GREAT day!! :)

Today, "just because" happiness makes me happy :)

Day 108: February 10, 2011.

I'm going to be totally honest with you...I had a really difficult time today finding something to record on here.  I actually had that thought as I was walking between classes at one point-What am I going to write about in my "Like" List tonight?!  Thursday is a marathon day if I ever knew one.  Ballet followed by Modern followed by Voice followed by Modern Art followed by Acting, then a quick break before good ol' 2 and a half hour American Musical class to top off the day.  (Is that a run-on?  I think it might be.  Haha!)  I'm not complaining, for I really do enjoy each of these classes and I really like being in each one!  I guess my emotional reaction to Thursdays is more of a "I can't believe one day can hold so much school" kind of reaction!

Being the fifth class of the day, and depending on how much energy I really feel like exerting, acting class is either great or it's the last place I want to be!  Almost always, though, I absolutely love it when I'm there. I learn a lot and have a ton of fun while doing so!  Today's class was exactly what I needed in order to keep me at least somewhat awake for the final stretch of the day.  Before getting to work on our work for the day our teacher has us start class with a few acting games.  So far, all the ones we've played have been so much fun and more often than not we're all laughing by the end--yet still very concentrated in order to successfully accomplish the games.  I'm not going to try to explain the game we learned today because I don't think I'll be able to get what the game entails into cohesive words, but it was called "Samurai" and it was a fun, fun effort meant to get us working together as a group (since working with other people/actors is really the most important part of scene work).  After a few uncertain rounds of the game we got the hang of it and really got into it!  After just running across campus from a lecture--and 75 minutes of frenzied note-taking--this was the perfect midday boost of energy!  Gotta love THAT!! :)

So today, at the end of a long, long school day, smiles, laughs and silly (but not really!) games make me happy :)

Day 107: February 9, 2011.

My favorite times to be at the dance studio are when it's dark and rainy and when it's sunny.  I don't so much enjoy walking to the studio in the rain, but for some reason I've always loved being there when rain is falling outside.  Even all through high school my favorite days at the studio were rainy Saturdays!  I also absolutely love it when the sun is streaming in through the wide windows, as it was this morning.  On Wednesdays we have a "late" morning and start at 10.  We start with somatics (bodywork), and then at 10:45 ballet class starts.  Sometimes starting that late (seeing as ballet usually starts at 9) really throws me off.  Some Wednesdays I can't help but constantly look at the clock and feel like we've been in ballet class since the beginning of time!  That wasn't the case this morning though, and I'm giving credit for that to the beautiful sun that poured in from the sky above Second Avenue all morning!  The studio was bright with gorgeous natural light!  It was so inviting and just made me want to move!  Class felt great (which is always something I'm thankful to be able to say!) and from there the rest of the day rolled along!

I love this city and I love this art.  I know I say it all the time, but it's just so true :)

Tonight, sunny days, great dance classes, and how the combination of the two is able to take my mood from good to fantastic make me happy :)

Day 106: February 8, 2011.

I was never a morning person as a kid.  When I was younger, having to wake up early for anything frustrated me.  I was a kid who could sleep in until 12 or 1 in the afternoon on the weekends (or weekdays, if given the chance!) without any trouble!  Yet as wonderful as those days were, they rarely exist at this point.

Since coming to college, the tables have turned quite a bit and I've become more and more okay with waking up in the morning to start the day.  Granted it's pretty much because I have no other choice and due to the early mornings every single day my body is unable to really sleep past 8:30 or 9 AM come Saturday morning!  But while this really annoyed me last year as I made the transition into college life, I now actually really enjoy the earlier hours of the morning.  (I also hate rushing out the door, so in order to make sure I have plenty of time to enjoy my morning before heading to class I usually wake up a good hour or so before I have to leave.  That way I can eat breakfast, take my time getting ready, and I'm not thrown into the day without having time to process what has to happen!)  Tuesdays, actually, are turning into one of my favorite early days of the week.  I take pilates at 8 AM so I wake up around 6:30 on Tuesdays and Fridays.  This morning I got out of bed, grabbed what I'd need out of my room and set up my spot at the table in the living area so my roommate could sleep.  No one else is awake before I leave at 7:30 on Tuesday mornings, which means that for one full hour I'm able to breathe completely by myself.  The apartment is still, there's no noise (unless I turn on music), there are no other things happening...Tuesday mornings between 6:30 and 7:30 AM is actually a time I find myself really looking forward to.  Hearing my alarm going off isn't my favorite sound in the world, but once I'm up I'm definitely very thankful for the given moments alone!

It's so rare to find times and/or places to just be completely quiet these days.  To not have to talk to anyone.  To be able to simply think.  But it's actually quite important to do so from time to time!  Taking a few minutes for yourself--even if it's just 10 minutes here and there, whether it be before the sun is up, or in the middle of the day for a little cat nap, or even at night after everyone's gone to bed--is so necessary!  We're all pushing a lot these days, trying to accomplish as many things as we can (and then some)...It's great to keep busy and moving but be sure to take some time from yourself as best you can!  You will thank you for it :)

So tonight, quiet, serene mornings make me happy :)

Day 105: February 7, 2011.

Another Monday came, another Monday went and a new week is under way!  (And wonderfully so!)

Today's another one of those days where I'm finding it difficult to pinpoint exactly why I enjoyed the day, but let me assure you that I really enjoyed this day!  The sun was shining and the weather was beautiful again, Gossip Girl was filming all day on 2nd Avenue from the time I went to class in the morning to the time I walked home after my last class at 6:30 (they were there ALL day!) and all classes went quite well!  I went to bed a little later than I have been last night so I was a little more tired than I have been during the day and had some trouble keeping my eyes open at times during Dance History--oops!--but it was a seamless Monday and I feel ready to just keep on rolling this week!  Ready to get work done!!

Tonight, as I close off the day with a new episode of "Cake Boss" (haha!), great Mondays that set the stage for great weeks make me happy! :)

Day 104: February 6, 2011.

SPRING is in the air :):)  I can feel it coming!  It's just a short ways away now!

Today, the excitement that comes with the gradual shift of seasons makes me happy :)

Day 103: February 5, 2011.

I woke up early this morning in order to head uptown for a visit to the Metropolitan Museum of Art.  The first paper that I have to write for my Modern Art class pertains to a photography exhibit there, and seeing as I'd never been before I was really excited to get out in the city for a bit in an area of town that I'm not in on a regular basis.  It's been cold and rainy all day, but I was so glad to be out it just didn't matter!

The exhibit was very interesting!  I'm really glad we were required to go!  As I said, it was a photography exhibit focusing on the work of late-19th and 20th century modernistic artists Stieglitz, Steichen and Strand.  As I worked my way through the three rooms I realized about halfway through that I'd been reading all the placards (which I know is kind of the point of going to museums but I don't think I've ever taken the time to actually read them!) and taking down as thorough notes as possible and not solely because this was a school-related assignment!  I loved being there and learning, immersed in a part of the art world that I'm not as educated in!

Today, the vast and beautiful world of art and the ability to expand my knowledge about it in a place so rich in history and example makes me happy :)

Day 102: February 4, 2011.

I have a really random brain sometimes so it doesn't take much for a quick sensory observation or experience to bring back a memory from years' past.  That happened to me today; I love it when that happens :)

I was walking to the 8th Street subway station after classes this morning to head uptown for my chiropractor appointment.  I passed a food vendor cart on the street.  It's the exact same one I pass almost every day, but for some reason the scent of hot dogs and burgers cooking immediately got me thinking about Hidden Creek Country Club--the golf club that my grandparents had been members of from the time they moved to Virginia from Long Island up until a few years ago.

I spent a lot of time with Nana and Pop-pop growing up (and still do when I'm home as I'm sure most of you have noticed! Haha!) so I hung out quite a bit at the golf club!  When I was six Nana signed me up for the Junior Golf summer program and I continued to take part in that for the next six or seven years.  I'd play golf with the kids every Tuesday morning in the summer (meaning I got to have a fun sleepover at Nana and Pop-pop's the night before of course!  Complete with a delicious dinner, an old musical on video and ice cream!), I'd go out golfing with Nana and her friends on occasion...Sometimes when I was really young and didn't have to go to dance after golf was finished Nana would stay with me while I went swimming in the pool before heading back to her house.  We had Pro-Ams and ParentAt the end of each golf "season" there would be an awards banquet for us kids where we'd receive our trophies and eat dinner with our families and just have a great little time.

Every Tuesday night was Burger Night at the grill (which is the particular memory the smell made me think of today), so as much as we could we took this as the perfect opportunity to get the family together!  We'd pretty much always be missing a member or two, sometimes it was just us and Nana and Pop-pop, but either way it was always a blast!  My favorite place to sit was at the corner booth with the wrap-around bench but if we couldn't sit there (or if the parents wanted to sit somewhere else) we were always known for rearranging the tables and pulling over seats to fit us all in.  The kids sat at one end of the table, the parents at the other with Nana usually at the head of the table!  We'd rush over to the popcorn maker (the free popcorn was always one of the best parts!) and fill up a few baskets to put on the table.  Drink of choice?  Shirley Temple.  Meal of choice?  Chicken fingers.  We'd eat and laugh and while the parents were finishing (they always took SO long!) Peter, Katie, Morgan and I would go run around the hallways, in and out of locker rooms, downstairs through the indoor driving range...They were awesome family nights that I'm so glad we made happen!  I know I'm on a family kick these days, but I just can't help it!  They always make my days great whether I'm with them or not!

Whoa!  All that from a food vendor?!  Who'd have thought?!

Tonight, those wonderful memories that pop back up totally unexpectedly make me happy :)

Day 101: February 3, 2011.

The first thing that made me smile this morning was the thing that kept putting a smile on my face all day long.  

It was simply the sun!

We have a pretty big, wide window in our room so waking up to a blue sky with sunlight pouring in was the perfect way to start off the day, especially after the yucky gray weather we've been having.  It was so refreshing to walk down the street (back and forth across campus ALL day!) squinting from beautiful rays of sunlight instead of squinting because of rain or snow being blown in my face by bitter winter wind!  It didn't even matter so much to me today that the temperature only reached a high of 29 degrees...I felt a subtle (yet totally noticeable) shift in mood today in the parts of the city in which I found myself and it was all thanks to a little natural light!  It was quite wonderful!

Tonight, nice weather and small precursors to spring make me happy :)

Day 100: February 2, 2011.

As I sit here to type out my 100th "like" I'm realizing what a momentous occasion I've perceived it to be.  Haha!  The closer and closer it's gotten the more excited I've become for some reason, as if fireworks and confetti cannons are going to go off and there will be balloons and a big party...In elementary school we always had a 100th Day of School party (which was always so much fun!), but in our case tonight there's no need for a huge celebration.  For one, there are still 265 days to go!  Haha!  We're nowhere near the finish line!  And secondly, this list isn't a competition or a race of any kind...Each day has a single, equal purpose and that is to smile :)  No one is greater or more important than the next!  

So on that note, on to my "like!" :)

Today was an all-around great Wednesday!  I woke up with that same joy that I had all day yesterday, so from the get-go I had a feeling I was in for another wonderful day!  I knew that it was going to be one for sure when I was able to walk out of ballet class this morning and say, "That was a GREAT ballet class!"  It was definitely the best one of the new semester so far!  Last week was a push trying to wrap my mind around the intensity of the new semester (let alone get my body to perform as it should class after class..five weeks off will do that to a person!), but after today's class I know that I'm on the right track to being healthy and back in shape and this is making me even more excited to dive on into the tasks at hand!  Class was hard, don't get me wrong!  Jolinda (our pointe teacher who happens to be my regular technique teach this rotation as well, meaning I have her four days in a row) is one of my absolute favorite teachers here at school.  She always gives really challenging classes, which I usually love, but it's been a rude awakening the last week and a half!  Today I believe the tables have turned!  I felt like I was working instead of struggling and let me tell you, it was a fabulous change of pace!  :)

I also knew today was going to be a great day when Lila--Schmikel Sandberry, for those of you who have wondered who that is on FB!--came into the studio first thing in the morning with a huge smile on her face and was laughing and happy all class!  It was the most awesome way to start the day!!

Tonight, wonderful morning ballet classes and happy friends make me happy :)